Bidding farewell to the Justice Department, Attorney General John Ashcroft told his staff: "There are seasons in life. There is a season for detaining suspects without charging them with a crime; a season for holding secret military tribunals in Cuba; and a season for thumbing one's nose at the Geneva Conventions. But there is also a season for sanding and painting a birdhouse kit I bought a few years ago, and that season is upon me now."
From “Duty, Honour, Caulking” by Andy Borowitz at the New York Times. This is a fine man. Read his other writing here.